Not afraid to ask for HELP anymore...

It's time. For reals y'all. I need help, advice, suggestions, anything. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I have all of these moments of clarity when I'm like, "I'll start working out again! I'll do zumba! I'll ride my bike! I'll go on a juice fast!" Have those happened? No.

What is stopping me? It's gotta be the devil. That and the fact that I seem to have the worst willpower in the world. I'm just so tired of not having any energy for myself, my husband, or my kids. I have so much potential that is untapped, and I have been wanting for 4 years now to get certified in scuba diving. I'm cheating my kids of a healthy mother. This is ridiculous.

Help?

What is a Life Coach?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

                                                                    --Henry David Thoreau

First, please excuse my inability to keep this blog current. I'm working on it, I promise. Hence, the reason for the blog. I have come to realization that I need to simplify my life. I know that having children makes that virtually impossible, but I can do better. I can not take on all that I do. When my husband graduates with his bachelor's in May, a "Change is Gon' Come." He won't be as busy, so therefore maybe I won't.  I can't wait for that day to arrive when we can sit at the table and all eat dinner together, rather than on the run to one event or the other, or the kids are eating at the table(after I've made dinner) while I'm unloading and loading the dishwasher/doing laundry/picking up junk/making phone calls/getting stuff ready for the next day/helping Ryan with homework, etc. The stress of doing all of this, along with the bathing, feeding, reading to, changing, disciplining, and loving on Ava while my husband is at school or doing homework is enough to to do three things: 1) make you count your blessings for two healthy children, 2) make you go crazy, and 3)make you EAT. And eat. And eat.

At least that's how I deal with my stress. That and I get snippy at my husband, which he doesn't deserve.  I wholeheartedly and sincerely accepted the additional burden of the kids/house/dinner-making/homework/etc. so that he could go back to school.

Keep in mind that we both work 40+ hour full-time jobs, AND I am a Thirty-One consultant. (Which my husband says I can't complain about how tired I am from that because that is optional. I beg to differ. Thirty-One has blessed my life in so many way, there's no way God brought Kia Young and Thirty-One into my life for it to be optional. Just sayin'.)

However, I need to cut back. I need to learn how to say "no" and not feel guilty about it. I can't go to every party, every get-together, every dinner, every play date for my kids. Ryan can't play every sport known to man, much less two in the same season. It's killing me softly. (Shout out, Lauryn Hill.)

I remember the days of my childhood being locked OUTSIDE during the day (yes, really) and I had a BLAST. We didn't always have somewhere to go, somewhere to be, something to do. We had each other, and we were appreciative (as much as kids can be) for what we had, and who we were with. That is lacking in the world today.

To bring my point back around, I know what I want my end result to be: a healthier, happier me, as well as a happier, more well-adjusted, NOT AS CRAZYBUSY family.

Back to basics. Now, how to get there...

Holy Moly!

It's been way too long since I've written. I promise I will do better. Keep checking, there will be more things to come, including updates on the family, and my new venture into Thirty-One Gifts!!

My baby is growing up!

Well, today is Ava's LAST DAY in the "baby room" (aka "The Hatchlings") at The Red Barn.  Effective Tuesday, she will be in the one-year-old room, and will be a "Chick".  It's sad to see her transition to the older classroom, but exciting at the same time. I know that this will be a good thing for her...she will probably start walking and talking more, and learn to be more social. (And if her couple hours there yesterday was any indication, she'll learn some less than desirable traits as well, ie: throwing fantastical fits!)

The thing that is most endearing to me? I was talking to who will be her new teachers, telling them little things about Ava. Like, her nose gets red when she gets tired. She loves to read (and chew on) books. She likes to show off her two bottom teeth (even though she has four top ones). If she is upset, her brother Ryan can make her smile like no other. For some reason, she finds it amusing and fun at the same time to chew on her shoes while they are on. She grinds her teeth. She loves Elmo. She pulls off her socks at every chance she gets.

She has a personality. She's a little person.

Part of me doesn't want to believe it, so I can stay in the isle of denial for as long as possible. I want to keep my last baby a baby. But in talking to her new teachers, I realized that she is, in fact, growing up. She's not a baby anymore, she's a little girl. (Be warned: I will very possibly on several occasions in the future, still deny this.) She will always be my baby, just like Ryan is, but I need to let her take her cute little chunky legs and make a run for toddlerhood. The thing I need to remind myself is to enjoy every moment that I have with her, and soak it all up. Before I know it, Ryan will be asking for the keys to the car and Ava will be lacing up her pointe shoes.

God gave me two precious gifts. One will be entering second grade in the fall (!!!) and one will be a "chick".

Guess it really is time for me to let my babies truly hatch and (semi) leave the nest...

Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

PADI

*Sigh* PADI Sort of a half-life dream. (I'm not going to say lifelong, because that would mean I came out wanting to dive...) So anyway, I find myself going to Dive Time in Clarksville, to smell the store (it smells like salt water and fish, I'm weird I know, but I love it) and to check out all of the gear and what trips are coming up. I want to go to Scuba Rave too, but just haven't made it to that side of town.

The thing is, I live in Tennessee. This is not too conducive to scuba diving, and certainly not to becoming a PADI dive master. I mean, just look at the courses you need to take! If I lived somewhere like, oh...Hawai'i, or California... I could get this done. What could be better than taking folks out for dives every day? Nothing! (Other than being with my kids of course)

I realize that this is just a far fetched dream, one that will most likely never come to fruition. I live in the country, I'm not in shape, and frankly, it costs some serious moolah.

But I have to tell you...when I watched Disney Oceans in the theatre, and when I've been under the water with all of God's creatures and sea life, I've never been more at peace.

Whew. It's been awhile.

So here I am, I keep making excuses for my absence. I wish I could just blog all day. Scratch that. I wish I could scuba dive in Maui and spend every day with my kids and my husband. I also wish I could put down the dang food. When will I learn that it doesn't make me feel better, only worse?

I'm really getting sick of myself to be honest. Sick of my excuses, sick of my emotions, sick of food. All I need is GOD, my family, and a nice, big, swift kick in the pants.

Any takers?

***January is coming up faster than I expected...***