The One Where I Give Up. (sorta)

 Yes. Yes, I am. My closest friends are probably sick and tired of hearing me whine about it, too. And I can't say as I blame them. I feel like it's all I ever talk about, yet I also feel like it's something I don't talk about enough.  What I do know for sure is that I've been looking for affirmation and inspiration in the wrong places.  I've started reading Lysa TerKeurst's "The Best Yes". I feel like she wrote this book for me.  While I've only read through Chapter 6, I have already had some profound "aha" moments.

Hi, my name is Allison and I'm a people pleaser. I've known that for a long time.  I haven't always been this way. I can tell you the exact moment in my life that I became this weeping, cowering willow but that's another blog entirely. In the book, Lysa describes this as "the disease to please", and it truly is. Thankfully, there's a cure. It's all Him. It's ALWAYS been Him.

There are so many things in my life that I try to control. That I try to accomplish on my own. When am I going to learn that I cannot physically, spiritually, or emotionally do it all? I'm not that awesome, but He is. Saying "yes" all the time won't make me Wonder Woman. It will make me a worn-out woman.

That's kind of where I am.  What am I giving up? The disillusion that I'm able to just keep saying
"yes" when I know that I can't, or shouldn't.  Will I stumble? Yes. Why? Because I'm a sinner and deserve the worst. To be completely honest, I don't deserve to even talk to God, but I do. The only thing that is getting me through this season of my life is prayer and lots of it.  The only way to become wise is to ask for wisdom. He will provide. He always has, and always will. My God is an awesome God.