PADI

*Sigh* PADI Sort of a half-life dream. (I'm not going to say lifelong, because that would mean I came out wanting to dive...) So anyway, I find myself going to Dive Time in Clarksville, to smell the store (it smells like salt water and fish, I'm weird I know, but I love it) and to check out all of the gear and what trips are coming up. I want to go to Scuba Rave too, but just haven't made it to that side of town.

The thing is, I live in Tennessee. This is not too conducive to scuba diving, and certainly not to becoming a PADI dive master. I mean, just look at the courses you need to take! If I lived somewhere like, oh...Hawai'i, or California... I could get this done. What could be better than taking folks out for dives every day? Nothing! (Other than being with my kids of course)

I realize that this is just a far fetched dream, one that will most likely never come to fruition. I live in the country, I'm not in shape, and frankly, it costs some serious moolah.

But I have to tell you...when I watched Disney Oceans in the theatre, and when I've been under the water with all of God's creatures and sea life, I've never been more at peace.

Whew. It's been awhile.

So here I am, I keep making excuses for my absence. I wish I could just blog all day. Scratch that. I wish I could scuba dive in Maui and spend every day with my kids and my husband. I also wish I could put down the dang food. When will I learn that it doesn't make me feel better, only worse?

I'm really getting sick of myself to be honest. Sick of my excuses, sick of my emotions, sick of food. All I need is GOD, my family, and a nice, big, swift kick in the pants.

Any takers?

***January is coming up faster than I expected...***

I can't get enough of you, baby...

Truly, madly, deeply....I'm in love.

More and more every day, this precious angel lights up my life.

Her brother thinks she is cooler than any toy that he owns.

Her Papa thinks that she carries him through all the crap that's going on. (it's true)

I think they're both right.

I also think that she is a blessing. A true gift from God.

I give thanks to HIM for allowing me to love her.

-xoxoxoxo

Cure for a Horrible, No good Day...

Am I right, or am I right?

Stupid Food.

I hate food. And I love food.

It's a vicious cycle. I know that I need food to live. I should be looking at it as fuel, not as a treat. But I still do. I talk a good game. I know all of the right things to do, all of the right thing to eat, and that I need exercise to accompany my eating habits. But look at this. This is what I had for lunch yesterday:

Jersey Mike's Turkey on Wheat: No cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Pickles, Onions, Mayo (full fat), and Vinegar.

No Chips....yay me! Right?!

Wait for it......

2, count em', 2 Cadbury Eggs. Did I need those? NO! Why did I even buy them in the first place? And why did I feel the need to eat both of them in one sitting?

I know why. Because I was overwhelmed at work and I went out at lunch at it made me feel better. Until after I ate them.

Emotional eating! I should just be allowed to take a nap every time that I want to eat. They should diagnose me with a medical condition and write me a note or something. Yes, I know that's completely ridiculous, but it works. If I want to snack at night, I try to pack it in and go to bed instead of eating.

I guess the point of this post is to show that I'm still struggling. I was on such a roll before I got pregnant with Ava, and I keep trying to recreate that time. Eat the same things, etc... but my life now is completely different. I have TWO children now. I work in a different city. I can't do bootcamp. Ava goes to bed at 7pm, which hinders going out of the house. I guess I'm just stressed is all.

Any uplifting comments/suggestions/inspirational thoughts? (Emily, I know you're out there!)

What can I say...

I'm in love.

Yes, I'm a SLACKER.

It's been awhile. I've totally dropped the ball on my 30 DAY Challenge...(which I full intend to finish)

The good news? I'm here now. Things have been a little nutso with my baby turning ONE (can you believe it?! Another post on that will be coming soon!) and all the sickness in my house that has been on a sick, vicious cycle. We get one kiddo well just in time for the other to get sick, and so on and so on.

Here's what has happened since my last post:

• Ava turned one. Oh. My. Gosh.
• Ryan got straight A's and Perfect Attendance for the 2nd Nine Weeks at school.
• Ryan got "Caught Being Good" at Sango, which made me SOOOO proud.
• I've been praying a lot, I mean, A LOT more. It feels good.
• I've started doing a ZUMBA DVD and I just bought the Michael Jackson Experience Wii game.
• I started P90x, but I think I need to work up to it. My body is not there yet. Soon...
• I'm still determined to get to my goal by my 30th birthday: January 16th, 2012. Watch out.
• I still struggle with food. Every. Day. Of. My. Life.
• I miss my husband. He's at home and I see him, but school is consuming him at night. I honestly can't wait until he's done. ONE YEAR!

I think that's all for now, I'll have more targeted posts coming, but my brain is a little fried at the moment. And it's not even noon!