Before the big reveal. That's right folks, I have an exciting goal set.
By my 30th birthday (2012) I will have reached my goal weight (whatever that may be, it's still up for negotiation) and will be requesting that my husband throw me a birthday bash, where I will be revealing the new me. The me that is inside me, but I can't seem to reflect on the outside.
I hope to be healthy and comfortable in my own skin, not just "skinny". My husband would kill me if I were "skinny" anyways, and I love him for that. The thing is, this is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change. I'm fully aware that I've been trying for YEARS to lose this weight. I was well on my way when I found out that I was carrying my precious Ava. She's worth all of the weight that I gained back, but I am sick of it.
I'm sick of changing my outfit a million times every morning because I'm uncomfortable.
I'm sick of thinking that when I see someone snickering or whispering to a friend, that it's about me.
I'm sick of being too tired to go outside and play with my kids.
I'm sick of sleep apnea and the fact that my dad has diabetes.
I'm sick of not being "me."
What do I mean by that? Ever think you look one way, but then look in the mirror, and that is not the person that you saw in your head 2 seconds ago? Yeah, that's me. It's depressing, I tell ya.
So, I'm done. Not only am I going back to my Weight Watchers meetings, but I am determined to incorporate a workout plan. I may even do the "deck of cards" workout. (Thank you, David Griffin!) I wish nothing more than if I could go back to bootcamp with David or to workout with Jacob Finn at High Pointe, but I can't.
Super strict budget=buying a house in 2011.
So hopefully by January 16th of 2012, I will have a new attitude towards food, a new body, a new house...and a new ME.
As for my night snacking and sugar cravings? I've decided to take a tip from Alison Sweeney (Sami on DAYS and Biggest Loser host)...if I start to reach for something unhealthy after the kids are in bed, I'll just go to bed myself. Sleep is better for me than than junk food is.
And my shows will be on DVR the next morning. :)